Muddy Roads Pizza Trail 8K – 7th May 2023

by Paul Wragg

A day in the life of a King & Queen

After being informed by King Ken about the race starting at 11 instead of 10:30 I thought I would check my emails against his better judgement. Lo and behold every email said 10:30. Arriving at Queen Jill’s castle for 8:30 we swiftly departed and arrived at the Kings quarters shortly afterwards. The man himself was stood waiting sceptre in hand (empty milk carton) I’ll let your imagination do the rest.

Race registration opened at 9:30 and we arrived bang on time. Bib numbers and racing chips collected we had about a mile walk to the start line but only after King Ken had a cuddle off the race organiser and dropped a royal flush in the Gents!

During the Royal Escort up to the start line it had become apparent Queen Jill had packed the wrong attire (road shoes). Mud all the way up and tight bends at the start which we would have to run down.

Ten past ten and no royal guard awaiting us at the start line??? What was going on?? Then it crept up on me, the race didn’t start until 11. An afternoon in the stocks getting fruit and veg thrown at me seemed inevitable. King Ken was too busy in the bushes and ditches to notice, again I’ll let you use your imagination on that one.

Race underway and Queen Jill was off like a rocket for the first quarter of the race, so much for the wrong attire. The hills made Lambton XC look like a curb, it was hard going but I managed to stay consistent on the first one and actually pass The Queen. Reaching the summit of the race, can’t remember if it was two or three hills but they were all equally as tough. Queen Jill had acquired a royal subject. Coming past me with Tarzan in tow Jill looked really comfortable the man behind her not looking comfortable at all panting and screaming like a man possessed!

A nice downhill finish rounded this great race off, it was 5 mile and definitely got the lungs grafting. We were meant to get a slice of Pizza upon finishing the race but the Pizza man had done a bunk earlier in the week. Medal was cool and the lady who organises theses races was really apologetic about the whole pizza fiasco.

Arriving back at the castle, King Ken was pushing to get out for his Sunday Lunch while the Queen was having Prosecco in the hot tub for the remainder of the day. As for the Joker…..feet up with a Chinese takeaway.